Since the end of 2019, I have been revaluating things in my life.
Nothing on a drastic scale, but I spent alot of time last year feeling guilty for not visiting certain family members, not buying certain people presents, am I getting the right things.
This is because having a chronic illness means that alot of my energy is spent on trying to keep my syptoms under control and stress is a huge factor for this, I also have a full time job so my downtime is pretty small.
I have mainly been re-evaluating alot of the relationships I have with certain people in my life, where I have just been connecting with them because they or I think it is expected, not because I want to.
Life is way too short to be around those that aren’t making you feel happy when you spend time with them. I am really not meaning them making an effort to make you happier, but it’s about the emotions you feel when you are with those people in your life.
It may seem really callous, but I have started thinking do they add value or joy to my life? If the answer is no, why am I wasting my energy.
I find there are many people I know who only ever speak to me when they want something or expect me to run round for them whenever a problem occurs in their life.
No thought is ever taken to ask me about how I am or my Illness or just generally being kind.
Perhaps I expect too much?
I like to use the this mantra “Do something because you want to do it, not because you have to”
I’m going to try my hardest to follow this, I know it relationships are messy as is life, but as we have such a limited time on this earth spend it with those that make it worth it.