Fads, kooks and crooks, Fact not fiction

Some days I feel as though I gave myself this illness, that I should feel guilty that I have a chronic disease that can’t be cured. This is madness I know. We are constantly surrounded by news stories or articles and even other people who have no medical background telling us we ate the wrong things or didn’t exercise enough.

I have lived for many years suffering with symptoms of #ibd and felt like a fraud or a hypocondriac because my medical professionals didn’t connect the dots or didn’t believe me.

Read More

I get knocked down but I get up again. 

#crohns you’re never going to keep me down.

This past week I have pushed my body beyond its means, I refused to believe that I was that Ill. I should have listened to the warning signs that I was over doing it. 

Read More

Hemo-goblin and the gremlins that go bump in the night

Fatigue, feeling absolutely shattered after the smallest of tasks like climbing the stairs, sticking the washer on. I can’t go a day without having an afternoon nap, usually after work. Sound familiar?

That gnawing sensation that your body has been pushed to it’s limit and just wants a little rest even when you haven’t done that much?

IRON. And no I don’t mean the kind that takes the wrinkles out of your clothes, not that I could manage it anyway I’m too bloody knackered.  Read More

Brittle Heart

A little poem I wrote back in 2014, must have had a bad night. 

My heart feels brittle
It’s crumbling away to dust
These tears keep leaking
And I’m starting to rust

So bit by bit
And pill by pill
My heart will stop beating
And the world will stand still

This loneliness is feeding the darkness that’s trapped inside,
It’s seeping out and I’ve nowhere to hide.

I have no escape and no release,
All I’m looking for is a friend
So that this pain with cease

Inflamm whim wham

It can sometimes feel like your medical professionals are talking gibberish, they may as well be talking swaheeli for all I know. Whether this be your gp, ibd nurse or consultant, what we want from them is less jargon.

I had a very recent visit with my ibd nurse, this is only the second time I’ve seen her since diagnosis but on both occasions she has been amazing.

On the first occasion it was a few months since diagnosis this year and it was mainly to discuss starting the biologic humira (injection pens to you & me). This time however was to discuss how my symptoms were since starting the meds and a general overview of my health.

Read More

Pain pain go away

The thing with crohns is I look perfectly normal on the outside. I can smile like I’m happy, walk normally and talk like it’s going out of fashion. It’s a facade, a very good front.

It’s easy for people to forget that I have an incurable disease or for those that don’t know me to think I’m full of bull.

Now I’m not saying I want to be treated like I’m unwell but just that it to be recognised that when I say I’m hurting, I’m believed . Or when you are too tired to do your normal day to day activities  or go out with friends, not to be met with, “oh excuses” or “Well you look fine”

Read More

Being diagnosed with IBD

So how did I know at first that something was wrong? I have always had mild stomach issues over the years and in my 20’s my doctors told me I had IBS.I had no reason to disbelieve them as my symptoms were quite mild, I also suffered from chronic mouth ulcers. The mouth ulcer issue I gave up on and just thought well this must be normal for me, but they have plagued me for most of my adult life. Read More